


Isolation

by phreneticInsomniac



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Angst, Humanstuck, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-01-15
Updated: 2012-01-14
Packaged: 2017-10-29 13:41:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,865
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/320529
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/phreneticInsomniac/pseuds/phreneticInsomniac
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Karkat Vantas have experienced something traumatic and decides to isolate himself from the rest of the world. But his best friend Gamzee is not about to just sit around and watch his friend suffer without trying to help. The question is; does Karkat even want to be helped?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Isolation

**Author's Note:**

> Before anyone asks, this fic is uploaded on fanfiction.net AND deviantArt as well! I'm just thinking of moving most of my stuff over here so I'm going to upload Isolation here too!  
> I apologize if you find the charactes being OOC, if you do then you might perhaps not want to continue reading.  
> This story will also deal with slight suicidal thoughts and some other sensitive material.

The time was about 3 am at night when the all too familiar sound of someone trying to reach him came from his laptop. Karkat lifted his head up and threw a glance at the illuminated screen, he couldn't see who it was who had written, he was simply too far away from the computer.

In all honesty he didn't even want to bother with crawling over to it, instead he wanted to stay in fetal position on the floor, curl up under his blanket and make everything go away. At least it was what he wished for; he just wanted everything to go away.

His life, his feelings, the things that had happened, the world... everything. Well, perhaps it was a bit cruel and selfish of him to think like that. He could settle with everything in his own world vanishing. His existence alone. Just because Karkat's life had started to go downhill it didn't mean he had to condemn the entire population of the world, even if it would feel a bit better.

After a few minutes of silent self-loathing there was another ping coming from the laptop. It seemed that whoever it was writing to him was a persisting stubborn little fuck. Because as the minutes kept passing Trollian kept making those beeping noises, indicating that the person obviously wasn't planning on giving up easily.

With a deep and annoyed sigh Karkat pushed himself up in a sitting position, grimacing a bit as his aching limbs protested at the movement. He ended up ignoring the dull pain and crawled over to his laptop which was on the floor next to a pillow. He couldn't even remember signing in on Trollian durin the day. Perhaps his computer had rebooted and then automatically logged him in? Who knew, it didn't really matter anyway. The bright light from the computer made him squint, but he clicked the blinking box on the screen, bringing up a so far one-sided conversation.

\- terminallyCapricious [TC] began trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG] at 03:03 -

[03:03] TC: hEeEeY bRo :o)

[03:04] TC: wHaT's GoInG oN?

[03:04] TC: i HaVeN't MoThErFuCkInG hEaRd FrOm YoU fOr DaYs.

[03:05] TC: I hEaRd YoU hAvEnT fUcKiN bEeN iN sChOoL eItHeR.

[03:06] TC: jUsT wOrRyInG aBoUt My MoThErFuCkInG bEsT fRiEnD :o)

[03:08] TC: If YoU aRe IgNoRiNg Me It AiN't CoOl At AlL bRo :o(

[03:15] TC: kAaAaAaAaRrRrRrRkAaAaAaAtTtT

[03:15] TC: hOnK

[03:15] TC: hOoOoOoOoOoOoOnK

[03:22] TC: :o(

[03:27] TC: bRo, If YoU dOn'T rEpLy I'lL fUcKiNg HaVe To CoMe OvEr AnD sEe To ThAt YoU aReN't MoThErFuCkInG dEaD!

[03:27] TC: wOuLdN't Be CoOl If My BeSt FrIeNd DiEd JuSt LiKe tHat.

Somehow Karkat couldn't help smiling a little bit. Of course it was his friend Gamzee, best friend if you asked said person. And it was probably true. Who else cared about Karkat anyway? Everyone else just wanted to get something out of him, at least it felt that way. He had always been the loner at school, sitting in the back of the classroom attentively listening to the teacher or just spacing out a bit. No one gave him much trouble, and he liked it that way. But Gamzee was another story... His presence had been forced upon Karkat, and by time he had grown fond of the stoned clown.

His smile soon vanished from his face as depressing thoughts flooded his mind again. And he noted that he had gotten a new message, once more from Gamzee.

[03:29] TC: HaNg On FrIeNd. GaMzEe Is AbOuT tO hEaD oVeR aNd SaVe ThE fUcKiNg DaY. DoN't Be MoThErFuCkInG dEaD oR sOmEtHiNg BrO!

Karkat frowned and quickly put his fingers on top of the keyboard. He didn't doubt that Gamzee would come all the way to his apartment; the idiot was impulsive and stupid enough to do that. And Karkat didn't want his friend to get beaten up by a gang in the middle of the night. Karkat knew all too well that it was stupid walking alone in his neighborhood at night.

[03:30] CG: no you're not heading over i'm alive you idiot.

With that he hit enter and hoped Gamzee hadn't had time to leave his place yet. The Gods knew that Gamzee Makara would go out stark naked if he had a goal in mind and wanted to hurry. Karkat was pretty sure it was the drugs fault. At least he kind of hoped it was, in a weird way. Otherwise Gamzee was just plain fucking crazy.

But he was still one of Karkat's few friends who cared. And a non-crazy Gamzee wouldn't be Gamzee.

[03:31] TC: BrO! I wAs GeTtInG rEaLlY wOrRiEd, WhAt'S fUcKiNg HaPpEnNiNg?

[03:21] CG: wallowing in despair, self-loathing, hate, rage at the world. the usual crap. and stuff i don't wanna talk about.

There was no point denying what he was up to. And Karkat didn't have any energy to lie at this point. He was too tired to argue with Gamzee, and the other would most likely see right through him either wya. Which would just make things way more dramatic. Even though Gamzee came off as a pretty chill guy who didn't seem very bright, he could for sure figure out things that no one else could.

[03:33] TC: MaN, tHaT SoUnDs LiKe SoMe DeEp ShIt.

[03:34] TC: i CaN cOmE oVeR aNd We CaN tAlK aBoUt YoUr FeElInGs. i'Ll AlWaYs Be HeRe FoR a BrO iN nEeD. hOnK :o)

Karkat rolled his eyes and mentally groaned at the suggestion. Oh god not another session lying in a pile of pillows and blankets, talking about his buried feelings. He had lost count of how many times Gamzee pretty much had forced him to open up about stuff he was keeping bottled up. And sure, it usually felt better afterwards... but he didn't want to talk this time. At all.  
Why would he want to bring something up that made him feel horrible? And what would Gamzee say? What if he would throw Karkat aside and not want to be friends any longer?

Sure, Karkat had been used to being alone. And as said, he hadn't minded. But that was before Gamzee fucking Makara (and Terezi and Sollux) nestled him into Karkat's life and decided to stay there.

 _"I'm staying bro, cause I'm fucking chill and I don't feel like leaving. Hope that's fine with you, motherfucker, cause your couch is much more comfy than mine."_

Man that day had been awkward. They had been paired together for a stupid project in school. As they got home to Karkat he realized that it wouldn't work. There was no way in hell Karkat was letting that idiot ruin his grade. Karkat had tried to send Gamzee home, but that was when he had refused.

And it turned out that Gamzee wasn't such a stupid stoner as Karkat had first thought. He was pretty smart when he put his mind to it, and that was when a strange friendship started to take form. And now Karkat couldn't imagine his life without Gamzee.

 _But you did kind of contemplate suicide a while ago, Karkat..._

Yeah, right. His existence which he wanted to erase. But that wasn't really fair, was it? Not towards Gamzee.

[03:36] CG: no gamzee. i don't want to talk. i don't want anything.

[03:36] TC: AwWw... sOmEtHiNg Is SeRiOuSlY wRoNg WiTh YoU. I ShOuLd ReAlLy CoMe OvEr. We CaN eVeN wAtCh ThOsE fUcKiNg RoMcOmS yOu LoVe So DeArLy. EvErY fUcKiNg OnE yOu OwN iF yOu WaNt To, BrO :o)

It was really sweet of Gamzee to try and cheer him up like that, even offering to watch Karkat's huge collection of romcoms along with him even though he hated them. Or perhaps Gamzee didn't really hate them, he just didn't see them the way Karkat did.

Why couldn't his life just be a bit more like one of those romcoms? Sure there usually was a bit of drama and shit, but the happy endings... Karkat wanted his own happy ending, but he couldn't see one no matter how hard he tried to imagine it. It was just a long dark tunnel filled with various obstacles. And he just kept tripping over shit and as soon as he got up he'd fall over something new. Karkat was just waiting to lose his footing totally and fall into a dark pit that he wouldn't be able to get up from.

[03:37] CG: sorry gamzee but i don't want to do anything. other than just cease to fucking exist or something like that.

[03:37] CG: don't worry about me.

[03:38] TC: well fuck, you do realize you're just fucking worrying me even more now, huh?

[03:38] TC: i'm coming over whether you motherfucking like it or not, karkles. can't call myself your best friend otherwise :o)

\- terminallyCapricious [TC] ceased trolling carcinoGenticist [CG] at 03:38 -

Karkat just sat there staring at the screen, noting how Gamzee skipped his annoying writing quirk and then suddenly went offline. In a matter of seconds his friend would be walking out his door, no doubt forgetting to lock it, it was a damned miracle that no one had robbed him yet. And in 20 minutes or so he would be at Karkat's place.

The teenager cursed under his breath as he sat up properly and looked around in his living room.

It was a fucking mess. He hadn't been cleaning for days. There were several romcoms scattered around on the floor, he had really tried to cheer himself up by watching them, but he had just ended up making himself more miserable. Pillows and blankets were also scattered around, he had just been lying there on the floor, sleeping or watching movies. Or staring into the ceiling.

Had he even been eating? As he thought of it he heard his stomach growl, so perhaps he hadn't. He had kind of lost track of time. How many days had even passed since he had locked himself away from the rest of the world?

Fuck, he probably looked like a wreck. And he was a wreck. And he didn't smell particularly good either.

He let out a miserable whine as he sank down to the floor once more, curling up into fetal position and hugging his own legs. He couldn't bother making himself or the room look presentable. It wasn't as if Gamzee would care, the guy's place was a fucking junkyard.

"Why the fuck do you have to be so god damned stubborn, Gamzee?" Karkat asked himself as he pulled a blanket over his head.

As he was about to close his eyes he could feel his phone vibrate in his pocket. Tiredly he reached for it and squinted to once more adjust to the bright light.

 **From:** Gamzee  
hAnG iN tHeRe :o)

Karkat smiled weakly and put his phone down. Yeah, he would hang in there. What else could he do? He could only wait. Wait for his stubborn best friend to arrive and try to fix the broken mess he had become.

**Author's Note:**

> I rewrote a bit so there's a few changes from the original piece. Just wanted to point that out!  
> Hope you liked it! I'll upload the other chapters later. :)


End file.
